I am reading today the Official Photos of The President of Russia’s Tweets from his official presidential Twitter account. He has one. And it is still up - for now. @KremlinRussia_E
Somewhere, perhaps in Russia, some poor soul woke up this morning and realized that chief among their duties for the day would be directing the creation of a Putin Tweet. (I am pretty sure Putin does not polish his own shoes or create his own Tweets.) Imagine that first waking thought - “gotta do another Fuckin’ Putin Tweet” (FPT). It must be a tough start to the day. I suppose they are not allowed to refer to it as a ‘Tweet’ in his presence - not manly enough - doesn’t have that emperor-y feel. Yet, that is what it is - a Tweet - or in his case, for his Tweet director an FPT.
A Tweet has by now a well developed code - spontaneous and informal - “GM!”. It is a gestalt that is not ideally suited to the highly formal demands of “officialdom”. And it is especially not suited to totalitarian officialdom. There is thus an interesting clash of codes and contexts that must come up for the Russian Tweet-meister in the creation of each FPT. But, I’m not here for a deep analysis. I am here to mock, jeer and as much as possible bash this tiny, pathetic, megalomaniac who, as Hannah Arendt taught us, is banal in his evil. His FPTs sure show it. They are as banal as his shoes.
Here he is meeting another boot-licker and his furrowed brow suggestive of thoughts like ‘oh, Vlady, you may have screwed the pooch with this invasion’.
Official photos of dear leaders have been an important part of state craft since the beginning of the photographic medium. Some of the best have been of truly dear leaders like President Lincoln in the field with his war generals. Before photography it was paintings and carved busts. The ego must, it seems, find visual expression to be reassured that it is extending into space and time. And the larger the ego the more carefully crafted that extension must be. And beyond mere ego, beyond Big Man chest pounding; the voters (or subjects) need to be kept informed of what ‘Big Man’ is doing for them. And in the case of President Lincoln or now the selfies of President Zelensky there is quite a lot to report and the happenings are real and actually heroic - and photos and Tweets are handy to have.
When things are going well, even for a weasel like Big Man Putin, crafting and picturing an acceptable Tweet is a piece of cake. Any super-long table and world leader will do.
When your invasion is not going well; your mass killings of civilian men, women and children are not getting the job done; and you’re despised by 7 billion or so fellow human beings (including perhaps a hundred million or so of your own countrymen) it is harder. In this setting, showing up in the proper Twitter style and revealing (not) what you have been up to lately takes real genius.
Your photo-ops are limited to a few cronies, henchmen, and lackeys. Even your fellow autocrats once eager for a snap with the ‘Big Man’ are not there for you. Under these circumstances, any warm or even tepid body will do - and it’s mostly those who are not able to say no. Like this flunky.
Photographing Zoom calls are nowadays a frequent go to for the FPT-Tweet team. They feel action-y and ‘Big Man Puut’ can strut his stuff in the virtual company of people that would not want to be seen in the same room with him. Here’s a good example.
“The situation in Ukraine” seems to be the topic and while the Tweet does not contain a complete sentence - surely he was not really looking for help “protecting Donbass.” He seems to have his Donbass well in hand. (Yes, on my first read it looked like “Dumbass” to me too - but that’s merely picture/text associative vibrations - nothing to worry about). Or his Twitter team may be screwing with him.
Speaking of stuff-strutting - check out these dazzling Fred Astaire moves. Fearless leader must have suggested to the Twitter gang he wanted to show a bit more flair.
Seems he’s really got his groove on. And indeed if you examine the full Tweet there’s a big happening he’s right in the middle of.
It was that pesky United Nations on the day after his invasion wanting to have a word with the Big Puut about a few things. Apparently the Tweet says once again “The main topic is the situation in Ukraine.” I recall the UN had several suggestions for Lil’ Puut about that situation. It is pretty interesting that this Tweet generated over 20,000 comments. And it looks like about 14,000 robots loved this Tweet.
The comments are uncensored and make fascinating reading. Most are send ups of one kind or another. Many are creative, lacerating and dystopian. Some are obsequious and some informative - and the many in Russia or Ukrainian language I can only guess at. Many are accompanied with a photo, video or image. They all stand in such stark contrast to the over-polished stale Tweets they attach to.
One comment photo that stood out to me is this one below. I suspect it is an image that has made the rounds - it’s so good. But I only found it in Lil’ Puut’s comment section - thank you Puut-Puut. Unfortunately I haven’t found out who to credit it to …other than The Puut-Puut.
What moves me about this photo is the power of that little old lady in the face of those sci-fi Putin goons. I have no idea what her posters say - but it clearly scares their pants off and I like that. Let us remember her when we are afraid to speak out. I want to remember the strength of poster board and paint - and the guts to stand where you are not wanted and risk jail or worse to speak out.
The FPT to end on though is the one below. I feel like the Tweet dream-team has created this one as an ironic send up of the Old Puut Storm. Figuring he’s too stupid to make the connection, they have him photographed meeting with his children’s rights Czarina about the same time his bombing of the maternity hospital in Ukraine was coming to light.
I have no intention of judging her. I looked her up. She has got a wiki page and at least on the surface she seems legitimately occupied in an important role. I did find reports that in her meeting that day they were discussing what might be done to facilitate adoption of orphaned children in Ukraine. As one of the comments said if you keep killing the children along with the parents that will not be a problem. Again, I cannot read Ms. Lvova-Belova’s mind, nor do I know her intentions or deeds. But, if this was the best facial expression the editor of that day’s shoot could come up with - she must have had a grim experience across that short table. Folks at the long table or on Zoom should count their blessings. What a time for monsters. She seems to be staring at one.
Post Scriptum
Since this churlish cur named Putin stepped on to the international stage I’ve had a sick fascination and a secret delight at the pronunciation of his name. I wish he had gone to the same public middle-school as me. If he survived the experience he might have come out of it a better person. Anyway, just for the record, and in my own school yard childish way: